Libro electrónico164 páginas5 horas
Comunicación no violenta: Un lenguaje de vida
Calificación: 4 de 5 estrellas
4/5
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Información de este libro electrónico
La Comunicación No Violenta (CNV) se basa en las habilidades relativas al lenguaje y la comunicación que refuerzan nuestra capacidad de seguir siendo humanos incluso en las condiciones más extremas. No se trata de nada nuevo: hace siglos que se conocen todos los elementos de la Comunicación No Violenta. El objetivo es que recordemos algo que ya sabemos –de qué modo hemos de relacionarnos los seres humanos– y que vivamos de una manera que manifieste abiertamente este conocimiento.
La Comunicación No Violenta nos orienta para reestructurar nuestra forma de expresarnos y de escuchar a los demás. En lugar de obedecer a reacciones habituales y automáticas, nuestras palabras se convierten en respuestas conscientes con una base firme en un registro de lo que percibimos, sentimos y deseamos.
Nos ayuda a expresarnos con sinceridad y claridad, al mismo tiempo que prestamos una atención respetuosa y empática a los demás. En cualquier interacción, pasamos a tener en cuenta tanto nuestras necesidades más profundas como las ajenas. La Comunicación No Violenta nos enseña a observar cuidadosamente y a detectar conductas y situaciones que nos afectan. Con ella aprendemos a identificar y a expresar con claridad lo que esperamos en concreto de una situación dada. El método es simple, pero su poder de transformación es extraordinario.
La Comunicación No Violenta nos orienta para reestructurar nuestra forma de expresarnos y de escuchar a los demás. En lugar de obedecer a reacciones habituales y automáticas, nuestras palabras se convierten en respuestas conscientes con una base firme en un registro de lo que percibimos, sentimos y deseamos.
Nos ayuda a expresarnos con sinceridad y claridad, al mismo tiempo que prestamos una atención respetuosa y empática a los demás. En cualquier interacción, pasamos a tener en cuenta tanto nuestras necesidades más profundas como las ajenas. La Comunicación No Violenta nos enseña a observar cuidadosamente y a detectar conductas y situaciones que nos afectan. Con ella aprendemos a identificar y a expresar con claridad lo que esperamos en concreto de una situación dada. El método es simple, pero su poder de transformación es extraordinario.
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Comentarios para Comunicación no violenta
Calificación: 4.194256662500001 de 5 estrellas
4/5
296 clasificaciones8 comentarios
- Calificación: 3 de 5 estrellas3/5There's no "there" there.I'm sensing that you're frustrated.Well, yeah! I mean, Nonviolent Communication is a great title. I think about the kind of inspirational shit your neighbour has on a magnet on their fridge, that could maybe benefit from being expanded into a whole program. Like, my friend talks about trying to only say things that are "necessary, true, and kind." I have some questions about exactly what that means in practice, but it sounds great as a principle from which to pursue nonviolence. And, like, yesterday I casually referred to a person of my acquaintance as a Nazi, and it's maybe a little bit brutalizing to your interlocutor to do that, right? Like, reserve that term for actual members of the National Socialist party? This is where the idea of "violent communication" takes me, and I think it's worth talking about how to avoid that stuff.So if I hear you, you feel like Dr. Rosenberg's book doesn't help you avoid that kind of thing.Thing is, like with so many of these self-help things, he doesn't give people credit for being able to keep two ideas in their head at one time. All the world's problems are due to people not feeling like they're heard. If we hear them, there's no limit to what we can accomplish. It's like that old joke: step 1--"implement the NVC process"; step 2--?????; step 3: profit! We all know listening is important--and while of course there is no the difficulty, at least one of the major difficulties, which isn't even touched, is the difference between listening, understanding, and agreeing, which makes it all the more unfortunate and egregious that Rosenberg leans so heavily on his work with Israeli and Palestinian negotiators for examples. Haven't really fixed that problem, have you, Marshall?So you're feeling like you don't know how to engage with the process in a useful way.The process doesn't know how to engage with me. And if it can't handle me, I'd love to see it handle scumbag investment bankers or Tamil refugees or, fuck, Joseph Kony.It seems like you're feeling discouraged. How about a poem?And this is the other thing. You can't take a platitude, pop it into rhyme, and present it as poetry. I recognize that I'm the one who's risking coming across as the anger bear here, but this process just seems so dishonest. Suffering people often need to hear that someone understands how their feeling--yes. And we're all suffering--yes. This is the truth at the core of the book. But Rosenberg seems to want us to posit a world where nobody is going to engage insincerely in a way that can't be brought down by some good ol' NVC TLC, where our only disputes come from an inability to remember our common humanity, and crucially too, where if you guess wrong about what someone is feeling--and this is a process where for it to mean anything you sometimes have to guess in detail--it doesn't stymie the process. Everyone likes to be understood, but the more you leap out into someone else's headspace, the more you run the risk of getting it wrong.It seems like you're worried about being misunderstood when you try to use the process, and feeling like you don't know how to communicate with people in a reliable way.Well, we all face death alone, but no, I do okay at bridging the gap--as okay as the next guy. I just think that it's an art not a science let alone a management process, and I am highly suspicious of the fact that so many of your clients are Fortune 500 companies and MBA programs and shit, and nothing I've seen convinces me that this is anything more than understanding as manipulation. Empathy emerges between two people through a sort of alchemy, and both need to be open, and defusing someone's anger by parroting them back at themselves is doing them a sort of violence, even, and you're just teaching people to fake it. You're creating Mitt Romneys.And I dunno, I think we do a decent job at hearing each other, mostly, I just think that's not the main issue, and if you presented this as a first step to dialogue in the spirit of "nothing ever changes unless you get the shitheads on board," I might be inclined to listen, but instead you treat the story like it's done when understanding is reached, sometimes explicitly dismissing the problems that remain and stem from systematic inequalities, like the woman who still couldn't go back to school or change her life but it didn't matter because she understood better why she blamed herself. But no! We don't blame ourselves because we haven't thought it out! We blame ourselves despite knowing better, because of human maladaptive things. Quit fucking us around, Marshall Rosenberg. The only people who need to be told what's in your book would never read it.I'm sensing that you're frustrated.Yup.
- Calificación: 4 de 5 estrellas4/5Marshall Rosenberg's basic insight is that communicating clearly and compassionately takes practice. He has developed a technique called Nonviolent Communication, based on mindfulness of the feelings and needs of yourself and others. His ideas have a strong Buddhist flavor and offer an explicit technique for practicing the Buddhist precept of Right Speech, but they universal in application. Anyone in a committed relationship will benefit from reading this book.
- Calificación: 4 de 5 estrellas4/5After borrowing this book from the public library I really want to purchase it myself. I felt Marshall B. Rosenberg did a fine job communicating his ideals. This should not have surprised me as Rosenberg has made almost all of his money communicating with others on how to communicate. At first I thought NVC was a really cheesy idea because "no one talks like that" and I still think it can be ridiculous if taken to the extreme. I certainly see how, when used correctly NVC can better ones life and interactions with others. However, I'm finding that when the opportunity arises I am often having difficulty remembering the stops that Marshall B. Rosenberg taught. Partially it could be the difference of Rosenberg being strait and to the point, unlike the 19th century libertarian philosophers I have been reading lately. He is not repeating himself again and again. So this certainly has advantages and disadvantages. I also found myself while reading of it, allowing my mind to wonder into how others can use it, like my parents, instead of focusing on how I can better my life by using NVC. So its on my wishlist for myself so that I can quickly and easily reference and may decide to get for others too.
- Calificación: 4 de 5 estrellas4/5This book is helping my understand my heartbreak with religion/Islam.
- Calificación: 5 de 5 estrellas5/5Ostensibly, this is a book about how to communicate effectively when resolving conflicts between people. Actually, it's about so much more than that. It's about how to use empathy to understand yourself and others. Once you have that empathy, a lot of conflicts will resolve themselves. Just reading the book gave me a lot of insight into some of my own emotions and inner conflicts, and I know it will be useful in handling some conflicts in my own life. The tools and methods in the book require a lot of practice/experience to use effectively - I will probably revisit this book often. Fortunately, it is well-organized and all the major points are in big print and summarized at the end of chapters, so the book is easy to skim for a refresher.
- Calificación: 5 de 5 estrellas5/5I have the benefit of reading this book in conjunction with a class. Had I not had a weekly practice session, to discuss various chapters, I may not have gotten as much out of it, but I am incredibly grateful that I have had the chance to read (and understand at least a portion of) this book.There are basic steps, as there are in any self-help book, on how to better navigate your life, and while I am not yet a natural at NVC, I hope to become a more frequent user of it. In the driver's seat (that of the speaker), the form of 1)Observation 2)Feeling 3)Unmet Need 4)Request is helpful, though difficult to make fluent (especially when trying to not put any of the true power of your feelings into the other person - ie not "When you do W, I feel X, because I need Y from you. Could you stop being an asshat (Z)?)Perhaps more important for me in this book though, is the exploration of empathetic listening. Working to truly understand the other person's feelings and unmet needs is what I hope will make me a better mother, friend, and partner.
- Calificación: 5 de 5 estrellas5/5Summary: A book that reframes communication and provides an approachable framework for both receiving and sending messages to others.
Things I liked:
* The general philosophy is the thing to grab from this book along with the grammar of observations, needs, emotions and requests.
Things that could have been improved:
It's a while since I read it but from memory, it's a bit 70s hokey at the start with some fairly mushy touchy-feely stuff. I remember reading a review that recommended pushing through this stuff for better material in the middle/end and I'm glad that I did.
Highlight: Differentiation of needs vs strategies. - Calificación: 4 de 5 estrellas4/5Best for:People looking for a better, more empathetic, more effective way to communicate.In a nutshell:Rosenberg offers guidance for ways to be more effective in communicating and finding common ground.Worth quoting:“Most of the time when we use [the word should] with ourselves, we resist learning, because should implies that there is no choice.”“…emotional liberation entails more than simply asserting our own needs.”Why I chose it:My partner read it and wanted me to take a look a well.Review:With this book, Rosenberg provides what I find to be a helpful communications structure for more empathetic and constructive engagement. I think it is at times way too stiff, and a bit naive, but I also can see a lot of value in it.The main component of NVC (nonviolent communication) is a four-part process of communicating:1 - Observe (but do not judge)2 - Associate feelings with the observation (and actual feelings, not ‘I feel that you are being a jerk’)3 - Identify what needs we have that are associated with those feelings4 - Request what we want from the other person.The book spends a chapter on each of those components, then looks at how to receive that type of communication, how to communicate that way with ourselves, and also how to provide more effective affirmations. I took quite a few notes, and I can definitely see how this all could work in real life. Rosenberg shares many sample conversations and examples of its success in seemingly fraught situations (including discussions between Israelis and Palestinians), but some of the language feels like something out of a text book, not like how people really talk. Especially his approach of asking people to repeatedly reflect back what they have heard. I know that’s an ‘active listening’ approach as well, but I could see attempts to guess at what is beneath the language getting a bit annoying.I do have some issues with the approach. For example, the discussion around anger. He sees anger as useful, but only insofar as identifying what needs of ours are not being met. Which is fine, but he doesn’t go further into what to do if we identify the need, the need is reasonable, and the person who can meet that need refuses. Think racism, misogyny, transphobia, etc. I get that there might be a point where communication just isn’t going to meet the need, but Rosenberg doesn’t seem to acknowledge that possibility. He also sees no value in applying moralistic judgments (which he separates from value judgments, which for him are fine), and asks us to reframe such judgments into the person not acting in harmony with our needs. Again, I kind of get it - if the goal is to get the needs met, why not try what might work - but also, I do have moralistic judgments about some folks and their actions, and I think that’s reasonable because there are some actions that society should not accept or accommodate. And as empathy is such a big part of this, he’s essentially asking the oppressed to empathize with their oppressors to the end of getting needs met, and I’m not sure that’s reasonable to ask of oppressed people. He is clear that ‘the process is designed for those of us who would like others to change and respond, but only if they choose to do so willingly and compassionately.’ Which, for some actions, I’d argue that change needs to happen regardless of whether the actor is doing it willingly.That’s a lot of caveats, I realize, but I do overall like this approach and am looking at incorporating it into the ways I communicate with others (including my partner).Recommend to a Friend / Keep / Donate it / Toss it:Keep
Vista previa del libro
Comunicación no violenta - Marshall Rosenberg
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